I talked to a lady - Tanya Howden
Today I found a poem written by a woman that cares for someone with Alzheimer’s/dementia on Alzheimer’s Society’s website and would like to share it:
“I talked to a lady yesterday
She didn’t know my name
She was amazed to hear about my past
And the places I had been
Her daughter’s life so similar
Filled her with awe and fear
She looked at me bewildered
Could this really be real?
We talked about her family
We talked about her past
We talked about the folk she’d known
Their walk their talk their cheer
The ones who floated through her world
And those who stopped to share
We talked about her future
Her hopes her dreams her fears
We talked about her sorrows
All the sadness life threw in
We talked about her children
(somethings I shouldn’t hear!)
We giggled and cried and laughed
At a life so rich and full
And in a moment we shared
Sat in silence with our thoughts…
And I whispered “good night mother”
As she succumbed to her dreams
I talked to a lady today
She didn’t know my name
She was amazed to hear about my past
And the places I had been
Her daughter’s life so similar
Filled her with awe and fear
She looked at me bewildered”
In honour of this poem I have decided to title my personal portfolio “she looked at me bewildered”.
The poem got me thinking about my own issues with my family having to deal with a loved one having dementia. As I read this my mum was on the phone to my nan who has the horrible disease. She seemed her usual, joyful but dis-attached self. As she told my mum that she “has had a good day, going to work and making lots of money”. It made me smile knowing she was up to her old tricks but she has been retired now for 15+ years. The poem also made me wonder if she would keep her promise to me. A promise that she shared when I was younger and had just gone to her for comfort just after a nightmare. The promise of her never leaving me, well at least till she gets to watch me walk down the aisle.
Its ironic really that you put your whole life on hold for the person that is struggling with dementia, yet all they want us to do is carry on with our lives and live.
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